What Should You Do First when Everything Needs to Get Cleared Out of Your Parent’s Home?

by Susan McCarthy
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Whether you have a week or a year to clean out your deceased parent’s apartment, trailer, or house, it can be difficult to figure out just what you should be working on so to get things done. What you need is a way to create a PLAN in under a minute so you can get to work without getting distracted.
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One of the challenges I faced with cleaning out my parents’ house was trying to decide what to work on each day. Everything needed to get done and so it didn’t really seem to matter what I chose to work on.

Unfortunately, that vagueness led to zigzagging. I’d start out in the kitchen and then wander into a bedroom before checking out what could get done in the basement. Since I knew none of these tasks could be completed in a single session, it didn’t seem like it would matter if I drifted here and then there.

But it did. I was working in some many locations that it took me longer to see the results of my efforts. That’s the power of creating a PLAN and staying focused. You’ll see the results of your efforts when you’re consistent.

If the idea of planning is intimidating, I’ll show you how to create a plan for the day in under a minute. This method allows for flexibility and can save you from the overwhelming of not knowing where to start or what to do when everything needs to get cleared out of your parent’s home.

Avoid The Frustrations Associated with Zigzagging

You’re probably familiar with zigzagging if you’ve ever spent time tidying your home. Maybe you go into your home office to file papers strewn across your desk. You notice that you have three coffee cups on the edge of your desk, and you decide to make the quick trip to put them in the dishwasher.

Only, the dishwasher is full of clean dishes, so you put them away. This leads to wiping down the kitchen counter and noticing the day’s mail. As you sort through it, you find a wedding invitation for a coworker of your husband. You go to talk to him about attending the event and you start tidying the living room during your conversation.

You then carry the mail to your home office where you see your messy desk! Somehow an hour and a half has gone by.

Zigzagging can also happen while emptying a home.

Sometimes you’ll find yourself zigzagging because you get distracted. Other causes include getting bored with the task you’re working on so you go to do something that you think you can do more quickly. You may also start zigzagging because you are tired, physically, or mentally.

Maybe you’re feeling emotionally overwhelmed and leaving one task and going off to do something else that helps you settle down.
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Start with a PLAN

You want to work in an orderly way because there is A LOT of stuff to sort through. According to an article in the LA Times, the average home has 300,000 items in it!

The simple PLAN I outline in the Empty the House Starter Guide include:

• Prioritize your efforts
• Little steps
• Assess your options
• Next Actions

The P in PLAN is for Prioritizing your efforts. So, before you start working at your parents’ house each day you will want to identify your priorities. To do that, you’ll use the 5Ws and an H, which you may have learned about in English class years ago.

If you’re thinking that you won’t want to create a new plan every day and can’t you just create one plan and be done with it, the answer is – no.

To stay focused, you don’t want a generalized plan.

Planning at the start of each day you go to work on your parents’ home means that there are no questions as to what you are doing because you made your plan that day.

Prioritizing what you’ll do day-by-day means that you can be flexible. Maybe you thought it would be you and your brother working in the house, but his wife and two college-aged kids also show up to help.

In a couple of minutes, you can set a plan so everyone stays focused, and things get done. Maybe you decide to take advantage of the extra help and haul things out of the attic instead of going through the kitchen cabinets.

If you planned out the entire process of emptying the house, you may not see the extra family members as helpful but as getting in the way of that plan.

This ‘plan of the day’ doesn’t take long to create. You can create this plan in 30 seconds to a minute. The first few times you do this, it may take you longer, say, two minutes.

I don’t want you to waste a lot of time planning. Planning isn’t acting and you need to act to get the work done. I want you to do just enough planning that you don’t get caught zigzagging through the house, working with distraction and without purpose.
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​Wondering where to start when faced with cleaning out your parent's estate? Begin with a PLAN that you can adapt to your situation.

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Narrow Your Priorities with the 5Ws and an H

You may have learned about the 5Ws and an H back in English class. The 5Ws are who, what, when, where, and why. The H refers to how. To create your plan, you’ll answer these questions.

Where will you work today?
Your first thought may be that you need to empty the entire house…but you can’t do that in a single session. That’s why your PLAN takes you through this process day-by-day. And remember, thinking that you need to work everywhere means that you’re encouraging zigzagging because here-there-and everywhere are part of the entire house.

Your Where will be a room, closet, or storage space.

If at some point during your work session you realize that you’re working someplace else, you may no longer be focused on your priority.

What will you work on?
Here you will narrow your focus because, let’s face it, there’s a lot of stuff in a room and if you keep telling yourself to work in the room, you still may zigzag within that space…a drawer here, a shelf there, poking through the contents of a closet.

So, once you identify your Where and you know what room you will work in, then choose what you are going to do.

Your What should be something that you can complete in 15-to-30-minutes. So, think ‘drawer’ as opposed to ‘dresser.’

Yes, you are going to work for longer than 30-minutes, but you want to choose a focused location or a little space.

Why are you working on this stuff?
There’s no need for a deep analysis here. Nor do you want the surface answer, “I’m emptying my parents’ home.”

If you are going through a clothing closet, your why could be to pack up clothing for women at the local homeless shelter. While packing up stuff in the kitchen, you could be thinking how your nephew is looking forward to setting up his first apartment and how this stuff will help him.

Remember that getting your parents’ things to new and appreciative homes can help you stay motivated.

Who is needed for this task?
You may be working on your own or with another family member (two people in a room can help you avoid disagreements later about items that may otherwise go missing). For more involved areas, like the attic, garage, or basement, then your Who may include a larger group.

Your Who may also include the charity that will be picking up items on Thursday or the junk hauler who’ll take care of old, unsellable furniture.

When will this work get done?
If you have four hours, then your start and end times are When you will be working. If you go in thinking that you’ll work until you’re tired or until a room has been emptied, then you may find yourself pushing when you are exhausted.

The other advantage to setting times to work is that you know you can’t dawdle or zigzag because you have a set number of hours to work before you’ll leave for the day.

How will you do this work?
Do you need to pull stuff out of a drawer or cabinet and spread it out so you can see what’s here to better make decisions as to what you’ll do with these things? Or will you pull items out of the closet and immediately sort the items into boxes labeled Donate or Sell?
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Will you fill boxes with papers to sort at your home? If things are spread out throughout the house, will it make more sense to gather similar items so you can better judge how to sell the items?
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Set Your Intention for the Day

When you set your intention for the day, you work with focus and purpose instead of struggling with distraction and the inability to make decisions.

To prioritize, identify your 5Ws and an H. These aren’t trick questions so don’t try to make the answers more complicated than they need to be. Remember, this plan will guide your actions for the day so keep it simple and focused.

• Where will you work today?
• What will you work on?
• Why are you working on this?
• Who is needed for this task?
• When will this work get done?
• How will you do this work?

This is the first part of the PLAN that I describe in the free Empty the House Starter Guide. Click here to get your own copy. 
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Other Helpful Resources: 

• How to Deal with Distracting Thoughts when Cleaning Out a Parent's Home
• How to Use a Brain Dump to Calm Your Stressed Mind
• Finding the Motivation to Clean Out a Parent's Home