​How to Give Away Things when You’re Decluttering or Emptying a Deceased Parent’s House

by Susan McCarthy
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While giving away items for free may seem like an easy option - just let people take the stuff you don't want - you do want to create some rules when you offer things to people so you aren't simply moving clutter from one place to another. 
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Whether you are cleaning or cleaning out a house, you’ll uncover a lot of stuff that you won’t want to keep. Depending on your schedule and the types of items you no longer want, you’re likely wondering what to do with everything.

If you have the time to photograph items, write descriptions, and determine which site you want to use, you could sell the items. If you don’t have that sort of time, you may decide to donate the lot.

However, if you aren’t keen on donating to a big charity that may sell the items to both pay staff and raise funds to help their chosen community, you may prefer to give away items.
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How Giving Away Things Is Different than Donating

When I talk about giving away items you don’t want, I see it as the act of offering things to individuals as opposed to organizations. You may find this a more appealing tact if you want to feel that you aren’t giving to a faceless corporation.

Depending upon how you give away things, you may get the opportunity to interact with recipients. This may be an appealing element, particularly if you want to feel that you are doing right by giving away things that once belonged to a parent.

However, if you don’t want to have conversations with the people taking the items, you don’t have to. Remember, if you have chosen this method to do good while also saving time, don’t get caught up in lengthy conversations.

On the other hand, you may start chatting with someone, discover their needs, and then provide them with other items in the house.
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Methods for Offering Items for Free

In my guide, Rehome Mom & Dad’s Stuff: What to Do with What You Inherit, I list a variety of ways to get your parent’s things to new homes.

When it comes to giving away things for free, consider

• Sending out a text or email to family and ask what people want. Make some rules (you won’t ship anything, or shipping must be paid by the recipient; they must pick up items by a defined date or find someone to take the items for them).
• If permitted where you live, put the items at the end of the road with a FREE sign. This works if your road gets enough traffic that plenty of people will see the item. Watch the weather so items won’t get ruined by rain or snow. Determine what you’ll do if no one takes the items in ‘x’ days.
• Post the item on Freecycling, BuyNothing, or NextDoor. These apps help you connect to the people in your area. Again, be clear about when items need to be gone. Even if you’ll still be working at the house for weeks or months to come, you’ll always be clearing out something new. If the older items don’t go in a timely manner, they you’ll simply be moving the clutter from one area of the house to another.

One HUGE consideration is giving things to others…don’t force anyone to take something because you know it’s perfect for them. It doesn’t matter whether this is clothing, craft supplies, exercise equipment, small kitchen appliances, etc. If you ask someone you know if they want something and they say “no” honor their response and that they know what they want and can bring into their home.
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The Pitfalls of Giving Away Things

Takers become Resellers. Let’s face it, you can give away some nice stuff. You might not have the time to post the item for sale, or you already tried and didn’t get any takers. Maybe you figured that you wouldn’t get anywhere near what you paid for the item and decided to make a clean break and simply give it away.

However, you chose to give it away, you felt good that someone was going to make use of something that was simply gathering dust in your home. But then, you happen to be on Facebook Marketplace or NextDoor and you see someone selling an item that looks just like that thing you gave away!

You may be furious. Or disappointed. You wanted to feel that you were helping someone and now you feel taken advantage of. You’re ready to message the person with nasty comments. You may be furious that you didn’t take the time to sell the item.

Take a deep breath. If you give things away, this will happen. Remember, you made the decision to not sell. You realized you no longer wanted the item. You have no control over others. And you don’t know their story.

Acknowledge that you no longer wanted the item and that you didn’t want to do the work to sell it. If a family member comments that you made the wrong move by giving away the thing, tell them that you’d love their help in selling the things you don’t want.

If they are willing, fantastic, split the profits with them. But chances are they will list all the reasons why they don’t have the time to help. Thank them and then ask that they not hunt online for the items you are giving away. Knowing if someone is selling something they got for free isn’t helping you.
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People Don’t Pick Up the Things They’ve Claimed. Always, always, always make it clear when someone has to pick up something that you are giving away for free. Put it in the description of the item. Start the description with the line, “must be picked up by Thursday!” or whenever you need it off your property.

You’re busy, other people are busy. You know how your own good intentions can fall to the wayside and tasks don’t get done. Someone may see your offer and claim it before they really think about when they will pick it up or where they will put it in their own home. They don’t contact you about their delay because part of them is convinced they can fit everything into their schedule (or home).

So be clear about when people have to pick up something that they’ve claimed. And then include a consequence if they don’t, perhaps, “if the item isn’t picked up by Thursday, it will be donated Friday.”

If someone calls and asks for an extension, consider if it works for you. Maybe they want another week or so before picking up the item. No matter how good their reason, if this creates a hardship, thank them for their interest but explain you don’t have the space to hold onto items beyond your deadline.

And although it can be difficult, this rule applies to family and friends as well. You aren’t responsible for holding onto household goods your niece will need six or seven months from now when she graduates college. What if she doesn’t find a job and apartment right away? Do you hold onto the things for another six months?

Giving away things is a way to relieve the burden of storing them. Holding onto them creates a burden.
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Is It Worth It to Give Away Things You Don’t Want?

Well, of course, the answer to that question is up to you.

Key factors – you don’t want to give to a big charity, you don’t want to take the time to sell things, and you’re willing to let go of the items you’re giving away. (This also includes not feeling wronged if someone turns around and sells something.)

If you like the idea of helping individuals, without thinking that you need to know exactly how you’re helping someone, then giving away things may be a good option for you.

Offer items to people you know, put it beside the street with a FREE sign, or post it on an app. Give a deadline and stick to it. If things don’t get picked up, know what you’ll do next.

And if you offer something in particular to someone, and they say “no” honor their response.

Giving away items can feel far more personal than donating. And, in some way or another, the recipient is likely to be thrilled to take ownership of their new possession. 
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Other Helpful Resources:

• Rehome Mom & Dad's Stuff: What to Do with What You Inherit
• How to Start Emptying Your Parent's Home
• Create a Schedule for Emptying Your Parent's Home

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