If you're wondering how to declutter, you may be stuck trying to decide what to keep and what to clear. Here's how to figure that out.
Decluttering isn’t about randomly getting rid of your stuff. It’s about making deliberate choices. But how do you choose?
You can rely on your intuition. You can logically determine when you last used an item and when you plan to use it again. You can ask any number of decluttering questions to better understand your thoughts and feelings about an item.
But here’s the thing, making decisions drains you. The more decisions you try to make in a day, the more difficult it will become to make each decision.
So, how do you engage in a process that is all about decision-making?
One. If you pick up an item and instantly know that you want to keep it or get rid of it, don’t second guess that decision.
Two. If you aren’t certain, set it aside and look at these items early in the day before you’ve been caught up in decisions like, what you want to wear for the day or what you’re going to eat for breakfast.
You will have a better chance to make a decision when you have the energy to do so.
What Is Clutter?
Clutter is stuff that you don’t use, display, or cherish for sentimental reasons. Professional organizer Barbara Hemphill calls clutter “delayed decisions.” This means that you don’t know where to store something, it’s too inconvenient to put away, or you think it could be useful to you “someday.”
Even a Neat, Organized Home Can Have Clutter
I often meet people who tell me that their home is neat, but they still feel like they have too much stuff even though they don’t have piles of stuff cluttering their home.
Yes, you can have organized clutter! I used to buy bins and organizing gadgets and spend countless hours every month tidying my stuff.
But so much stuff never got used. I hoped to use it someday and I thought that if it was in a box, it would be ready for use. It took me a long time before I evaluated just how long some of these items had been on my to-do list?
How much stuff do you own that you don’t use, display, or cherish?
Declutter First; Organize Second
Before trying to organize any space in your home, declutter it first. Look through the space and ask yourself, “Are there things here that I don’t use and can’t see myself using any time soon?”
I spent years creating detailed filing systems … of papers I never referred to. When I came at my stuff from the perspective of getting organized, I wasted a lot of time organizing unnecessary things.
When I started with clearing away the unnecessary as my first priority, it was then easier to organize things … and keep them organized.
Emotional Decluttering
The only people I’ve met who truly regret the things they’ve decluttered are those who cleared through their belongings in an emotional fit.
This could have been anger or disappointment or fear, but they worked from a position of getting rid of things for the sake of getting rid of them.
This could be the result of an incident that rocked them emotionally. But it’s also occurred with people whose home sells faster than they expected and find that they started decluttering too late. Suddenly, they need to make all the decisions in a couple of weeks.
For as difficult as it may be to declutter now, it is far better to make the decisions with a cooler head.
Sentimental Items
I’ll be doing a deep dive into sentimental items later in the year. For now, if you find something that is truly meaningful to you, set it aside.
Trying to declutter sentimental keepsakes early in the decluttering process can be too emotional and you’ll get stuck. In fact, if you encounter anything that you can’t make decisions about, set it aside.
However, if you realize that you can let go of something, do so. We change throughout our lives and the meaning we hold in different items can change as well.
There’s no need to feel bad about letting go of something that once felt more important than it does now. That doesn’t make you a heartless person. Our feelings change over time.
The ‘Maybe’ Box
When I first became a professional organizer, I read a lot about decluttering. And I heard so many references to a ‘maybe’ box that I figured was a “best practices” sort of tip.
But over time, my feelings have become more mixed in connection to this technique.
You’re probably familiar with it. If you don’t know what to do with something, if it’s neither a definite ‘keep’ or ‘toss,’ you put the item in a box and label the box with a date six months from the day.
After that time, if you haven’t gone looking for this item, you can donate the contents of the box.
But what usually happens is that you forget that box and its contents until you’re decluttering some years in the future, and you have absolutely no clue what’s in all the boxes in the basement, attic, or spare room.
My thoughts now? Put the items in a ‘maybe’ box but put that box with your donation pile. You can label the box with the word ‘maybe’ and when you go to donate your pile of boxes, you can hold onto the box until your next donation or you can send the box out the door.
If you’re decluttering, chances are that you’re regularly donating items. If you hold onto a box of items until the next time, you’re giving yourself time to consider your best course of action without forgetting about a box that you’ve cast into a dark corner of your home.
Identify the Beneficiaries of Your Decluttering
Whatever stage you’re at in your decluttering journey, knowing what you’ll do with unnecessary items is important knowledge.
Instead of thinking that you can hold onto something for someday, you know that when you give it away, it will get used by someone else.
Create a list of local charities, individuals, and larger organizations that accept different types of items. Nicer items may be of interest to groups holding raffles or auctions.
Make a note of the times you can drop off items or if you can schedule a pickup at your home for quick reference.
Knowing where items will go can help you box things appropriately … and you can feel more confident letting go of things.
Don’t Push Things on Others
Years ago, I taught art classes, and I often had people give me items that they just knew someone creative could do something with.
Even if I politely said ‘no’ and explained that I usually needed ten of an item, one for each student, I’d often find that they’d leave the item with someone else I worked with.
I’d hold onto some things for a while, hoping to figure out what to do with them. Usually, I ended up frustrated that someone didn’t want to be responsible for throwing the thing away and instead gave it to me to “do something with.”
While some items could get used, a lot of things went into the trash or recycling bin.
Avoid insisting that your sister will get more use out of that blouse you want to get rid of or that lamp you no longer want would be perfect for your friend’s living room.
You can always ask, “Any interest?” and move on if they say no.
‘X’ Will Want This
Many people convince themselves that their adult children will want this or that ‘someday’ and so hold onto the item for that person … even if they’ve already said that they have no interest in it.
Will they change their mind? Maybe, but they have made the decision. You can check one more time, if you want, by telling them that you are donating the item on a specific date.
If they want the item, give it to them now instead of holding on to it for them.
What Are You Using?
Many of your possessions have a practical use. These are things that you wear, read, use to get or stay fit, use to prepare meals, clean with, relax with, and in some way ‘do.’
The tricky thing here is that an item can be useful but not get used. If an item isn’t currently in use, can you identify when it gets used. Not, “someday,” but “in the summer” or “at Christmastime.”
When Was the Last Time You Used This?
One of the most popular considerations when it comes to making a decision about letting go of an item is to consider when you last used the item.
This is a very logical approach. But it also misses that you may have items that get infrequent use but you can still identify when you’ll use them.
I remember the woman who pointed to the dress she wore maybe once a year for dressier occasions. She thought that infrequent use meant that she needed to get rid of this garment.
But it had a specific use. You might have Christmas cookie cutters that get used for a few hours a year, but if this activity is important to you, nothing else will replace those cookie cutters.
However, if you can’t remember the last time you used something and you can’t name when you will use it in the future, it isn’t necessary to keep.
Stagnant Items
Are there things in your home that stay in their place without getting moved for use? Clothing that never comes off its hanger, books that aren’t taken from their shelf, kitchen gadgets that aren’t used to prepare a meal.
That these items never leave their spot (except perhaps to get pushed out of the way), is a big clue that these things aren’t useful to you.
How Many Do You Need?
An item can be useful, but we may have more than we need. This excess can make your home feel cluttered. How many do you need? It depends upon the item and how you use it.
If you wear black pants all the time, then you likely want to own several pairs that will take you through to laundry day. However, you don’t need to keep 30 pairs, particularly since a number of those pants are probably worn out or don’t fit well.
The same goes for mugs and dining room chairs and pairs of sneakers. How many do you use? How often do you need more than would suffice for everyday use? If you didn’t have more for a special occasion, could you rent or borrow the necessary items?
Items on Display
In every room you likely have items on display - photographs, artwork, and decor that reflects your interests and style. You are using these items to personalize your home.
And just like any other item, it can fall out of use. This can look like something that you tuck into a box that you store someplace in your home. You may have a sentimental attachment to the item … or you may think that you do simply because you’ve owned the item for so long.
And sometimes, the items stay on display because they’ve been in that spot since the day you’ve set them down. While you may dust them, you don’t really see them.
Removing the items from their location, maybe setting them on a counter or table in another room, can your perspective on your thoughts and feelings about them.
Do these items reflect your current life (which includes items from your past that tell the story of how you became the person or family you are today)?
What You Really Use
Go into the room that you are planning to declutter and look for things that don’t get used here. It is easier to use items that are stored near where they are used …you aren’t wasting time going here and there to gather what you need for an activity.
Do you have items stored in this room because you don’t have space where the things get used? Do you keep items in the room that you used to use there but you’ve stopped using these things ages ago (you just never decided what to do with them.)
Are You Used to This?
Oftentimes, something seems important to us simply because we’ve had it for so long. The item may be coated in dust, but it feels like it belongs.
How does this item support your current life? Is it useful and used? If it’s a display item, does it bring you joy or reflect an interest?
If it’s a sentimental item, do you use it to recall fond memories or do you keep it “just because.”
Won’t, Don’t, Can’t
The phrase “won’t, don’t, can’t” came out of my mouth while I was teaching a class about decluttering, and someone asked a question about going through clothing.
I told them, “If you won’t, don’t, or can’t wear something, eliminate it from your closet.” After the class, I realized that this phrase applies to most of your possessions.
You likely won’t use something that you don’t like. If you could use something but you don’t, for any reason, you can let it go. And if you can’t use something, it may be damaged or the wrong size or otherwise inappropriate for your life.
When you’re holding an item, ask “Will I use this? Do I use this? Can I use this?”
How to Respond to, “But, Maybe ….”
I know, you keep going back to the question, “What if I need this someday?”
Well, imagine that you didn’t own that thing, and you were in a store, shopping for something else. You see the item on the store’s shelf. Would you pop that thing into your shopping cart because you might need it someday? Or would you walk right on by because it isn’t something you need?
And even if you need that item someday, would you remember you owned it? Would you know where to look for it? Or would it be easier to buy it?
Remember, just because you might need something, doesn’t mean that you will. What’s more important …that item’s right to take up space in your home or your right to make the best use of your home?
Aspirational Clutter
Aspirational clutter are the things that we think we’d use in an ideal version of our life. You likely bought them with the thought that if you owned these things that you’d be a step closer to this ideal life.
But buying things is easy. Using them is a challenge. First, consider if the item (clothing, shoes, a book, hobby supplies, craft supplies, exercise equipment, cooking gadgets, etc.) is something that’s connected to a current goal.
Maybe a few months or years ago doing/reading/wearing that thing was something you wanted to do … but now, you’ve cooled on the idea.
Don’t think that you are obligated to pursue this goal just because you own the stuff. Sell it or donate it to someone who wants their own shot at achieving that goal.
“I Just Don’t Know”
When you find yourself holding an item and thinking, “I just don’t know what to do with this,” the answer is usually, “give it away or donate it.”
Instead of thinking why you won’t, don’t, or can’t use something, you instead focus on trying to convince yourself that you will need this thing or that.
If you didn’t have this thing, would it create a hardship in your life if you need it someday … or would it merely be an inconvenience to use something else, borrow the item, or even buy a replacement?
The Pretend Move
Pretending to move is another long-standing decluttering technique. Would you pay to have someone pack and later unpack this item for you? Pay to have it transported to your new home? Take the time to decide where to store it in your new home?
Is that item worth that type of effort?
The Technology Solution
You may use technology in place of physical items that you still own. Consider if you need the physical item. (If you’re concerned about solar flares or something destroying our digital world, keep in mind that owning a physical calculator in the face of chaos is unlikely to improve life in that future.)
Some things you may not need -
Print manuals for appliances
A dictionary or thesaurus
Print books
DVDs
CDs
An alarm clock
A calculator
Now you may use both the physical and technological version of an item (say, an alarm clock so you don’t have your phone next to your bed). That’s fine. You want to declutter items you don’t use … not things you still enjoy using.
Start Saying ‘No’
You can avoid future decluttering by limiting the types of things that you bring into your home. Do you really need the free water bottle, tee shirt, lanyard, magnet, three-ring binder, etc. that’s being offered by your new gym or the conference you’re attending. How about the gift bag of free samples from the beauty counter?
You can go a step further and limit your participation in gift exchanges. Do you really need another candle or mug? Consider asking for gift cards or experiences or something you’ve wanted when appropriate.
Redefine ‘Finished’
Do you have numerous craft projects lying around that you’re no longer interested in? How about books that you’ve never got through chapter one? Do you have household projects that you’ve bought supplies for, but never started?
I’ve also met numerous people who felt compelled to hold onto projects a loved one was working on with the intention of finishing it for them. (I remember one woman who thought she had to learn to crochet so she could complete projects her grandmother had started.)
You can look at these projects and think, “I need to finish that.” But is that because you actually want to do the project? Or do you no longer feel interested but obligated to complete the project?
Remember, deciding that you are done with the project (even if it isn’t finished) is another to take it off your to-do list.
Look to the End
When I was emptying my parents’ house, I kept wondering why they felt compelled to hold onto nearly forty years of old statements and paid bills, clothing that didn’t fit, worn out towels and faded curtains.
It was overwhelming. All the trash, unused items, and tchotchkes that had been shoved into boxes and bags piled on top of one another.
That experience encouraged me to declutter my stuff. I thought of leaving my things behind for someone else to deal with. I didn’t want to leave for them the things that I hadn’t dealt with myself.
This isn’t a tactic that you need to wait to take when you’re 80. I’ve met people in their 40s who proclaimed that they were doing Swedish Death Cleaning.
Decluttering from this perspective can feel unsettling. However, it can help your family understand what was truly important to you.
Is Minimalism Your Aim?
Decluttering is not about becoming a minimalist. The number of items one person owns would make someone else cringe at the excess … or feel bored with the lack of personal details.
Sure, you can find people’s opinions as to the number of garments, books, photographs, possessions you should own … but that’s just their opinion … and what works for them.
If you are interested in becoming a minimalist, you can do so gradually so that you can find the right level of possessions for you.
Comments