Finding Your "Just Right": How to Know If You're Decluttering Too Much or Too Little

Worried you're decluttering too much or too little? Learn how to find your "just right" amount and stop second-guessing your decluttering decisions.

After finishing a library book, I opened the Kindle app on my phone to find something new to read. Since I have Amazon Prime, I get to choose a free Kindle book each month from a short list of options. Sometimes I see a book that looks like something I'd genuinely enjoy. Other times, I choose something that looks sort of okay... and download it just because it's free. And yes, sometimes I don't choose a book at all because nothing interests me.

As I scrolled through my digital library—all these free books plus the ones I'd actually purchased—I suddenly felt overwhelmed. For nearly all of the free books, I had no clue what they were about or why they'd interested me in the first place.

Here I was, someone who loves reading, and all I could wonder was: why hadn't I read the book I got each month?

The irony wasn't lost on me. These books didn't take up physical space in my home. They weren't gathering dust on shelves or stacked on my nightstand. And yet... I had that same stressed feeling of dealing with too much.

So, I did what felt right. I deleted any book I'd started but abandoned—obviously, it hadn't interested me enough to finish. Then I made a decision: these free books would become my first option for reading material, at least through the end of the year. If a book didn't interest me after a chapter or two, I'd delete it from the app with no guilt. No forcing myself to finish. And after reading any book I didn't want to reread in the future, I'd delete that too.

If you're currently decluttering physical items in your home, you might be rolling your eyes at my plan for decluttering digital books. But as I thought about it more, I realized something important.

We all have a definition of "enough"—even if we aren't entirely clear on what that is.

And "enough" shows up in countless ways throughout our homes and lives. Clothing. Books. Craft or hobby supplies. Bottles of shampoo. Rolls of toilet paper. Kitchen gadgets. Knickknacks. The list goes on and on.

The Problem That Stops Progress

One of the biggest obstacles that comes up during decluttering is the fear of deprivation. The worry that you'll get rid of too much and regret it.

I remember chatting with someone who'd been reading my tips and was excited to share her decluttering successes. But then she mentioned she still hadn't worked up the courage to declutter her closet.

I reminded her to keep anything she actually wore—even special outfits that only got worn once a year.

"Oh," she said, "if I get rid of everything I don't wear, I'd have to go out and buy more clothing."

I laughed, thinking she was joking. She wasn't.

I gently pointed out that she'd still have all the clothing she actually wore. There was no need to replace items she didn't wear.

Then she clarified: "I won't like it if I don't have enough clothing in my closet. If I see too much empty space, I'll feel like I have nothing to wear."

Think about that for a moment. Everything remaining in her closet would be clothing she actually wore. She would only be removing the things she never wore. But the thought of seeing empty space—even though that space would be filled with clothes she loved and used—made her feel deprived.

This fear of getting rid of too much can completely halt your decluttering progress. You start thinking, "What if I need this someday?" You see emptier spaces and instead of feeling proud of your efforts, you feel anxious. Worried. Like something's missing.

The Baby Bear Effect: Finding What Feels "Just Right"

I think of this challenge as the Baby Bear Effect, inspired by the Goldilocks fairy tale.

Remember how Papa Bear's porridge was too hot and Mama Bear's was too cold, but Baby Bear's was just right? Papa Bear's chair was too hard, Mama Bear's too soft, but Baby Bear's was just right?

That's your goal with decluttering. Not some universal standard of how many books or dishes or shirts you should own. But finding your own personal "just right."

And here's what makes this tricky: your "just right" will look different in different areas of your home. You might be perfectly content with very few books but want a closet that feels full. Or you might love having minimal kitchen items but enjoy displaying a collection of something meaningful.

There's no single right answer that applies to everyone in every room with every type of item.

What "Too Much" Actually Feels Like

When you have too much, your space and your life give you clear signals:

• You struggle to focus when you're in that space. Your eyes don't know where to land, and your mind feels scattered.

• You face constant indecision about what's truly important to you. With so many options and so much stuff, it becomes hard to identify what really matters.

• You can't find what you need when you need it. Things get buried, forgotten, or lost in the sheer volume of possessions.

• You're unable to use something or do something because you literally don't have enough space. The hobby you want to pursue gets crowded out. The table you want to use for family dinners is covered with piles.

• You don't feel calm and settled in your space. Instead, there's an underlying tension, a low-level stress that something needs your attention.

• You feel like there's no room for possibilities because your space is closing in on you. Everything feels predetermined, stuck, stagnant.

I've also seen a particular variation of "too much" that many women don't initially recognize: items that have been moved to the basement or garage and stayed there for years.

I've talked to so many women who describe how they've been decluttering various areas of their home. They're proud of the progress they've made. But then they mention, almost as an afterthought, that they moved boxes of "decluttered" items into the basement years ago... and those boxes are still there.

Here's what's fascinating: by eliminating those items from active use in their living spaces, they've actually found their "just right" number of things. Their daily life functions perfectly without those basement items. But the fear of not having enough keeps them from completing the decluttering process by actually letting those boxes go.

If this sounds familiar, pay attention to what your life is telling you. You've already done the hard work of identifying what you don't need—those items have been out of circulation for months or even years. The only thing left is acknowledging that truth and following through.

What "Too Little" Actually Feels Like

On the other hand, decluttering too much creates its own set of problems:

• You're in a constant state of panic about running out. "This is the last roll of toilet paper in the house." "I need to do laundry because I'll have nothing to wear tomorrow."

• You feel unprepared for normal life situations. You don't have the basic items you need when you need them.

• You feel genuinely deprived, not peaceful. There's a sense of lack that weighs on you.

• You experience low-to-no functionality in some areas of your home. Maybe you don't have enough dishes to invite people over for a meal, even though you'd like to host occasionally.

• You feel an overall lack of potential because an area of your home and life feels stripped bare—not intentionally minimal but empty in a way that doesn't serve you.

  
  

I've seen this happen especially with women who are downsizing to smaller homes. A few have told me they got rid of their entertaining dishes and special serving pieces because they assumed they wouldn't be able to host gatherings in a smaller space.

But once they settled into their new home, they realized they could still entertain smaller groups. Maybe not the big holiday dinners of the past, but intimate gatherings of friends. And they genuinely regretted letting go of too much.

That's real deprivation—not the imagined kind that comes from seeing empty shelf space, but the actual inability to do something you value because you no longer have what you need.

What "Just Right" Actually Feels Like

So how do you know when you've hit that sweet spot? What does "just right" actually feel like?

• You have what you need for your daily life. Enough clothing options. Enough dishes and cooking tools. Enough of the basics that keep your household running smoothly.

• You have what you need for special occasions that you know will occur. An appropriate outfit for funerals or weddings. Special dishes or a nice tablecloth and napkins if you entertain. Whatever fits your actual life, not an imagined version of who you think you should be.

• You can find what you want when you need it. No digging through piles or searching through overstuffed drawers.

• You can relax in your home without feeling like you're facing a constant to-do list. The space doesn't silently nag at you about projects you should be doing or things you should be organizing.

• Any decluttering you do is about maintaining the space—getting something new to replace a worn-out item or eliminating things that no longer get used. You don't have to do major overhauls anymore.

• And perhaps most importantly: you aren't worrying. Not about not having enough stuff, and not about trying to manage an excess of possessions that you have to somehow fit into your home.

There's a quiet ease to the space. A sense of "ah, yes, this works."

Questions to Help You Find Your "Just Right"

When you're trying to determine if you have too much or too little in a particular area, these reflection questions can help:

Is this item supporting you in your life?

If it's something on display, does it bring you joy when you look at it? If it's functional, does it actually help you accomplish necessary tasks? This isn't about whether the item is theoretically useful—it's about whether it's useful to you, right now, in the life you're actually living.

Are you giving more to this item than you're getting from it?

Think about the time you spend cleaning, organizing, and storing this item. Is that arranging and rearranging the only interaction you're actually having with it? If you're investing more energy in managing an item than you're getting back in use or joy, that's a sign you have more than you need.

Does the idea of looking at or using this item leave you feeling energized or drained?

Your emotional response is valuable data. If thinking about using something makes you feel heavy or obligated rather than pleased or excited, pay attention to that feeling.

Do you see yourself using or displaying this thing in the next year?

Not in some vague "someday" future, but in your actual foreseeable life. Be honest with yourself about the difference between who you are now and who you think you should be.

If you were moving, would it be worth it to spend the time and money packing and moving this item to a new home?

This question cuts through a lot of ambiguity. Moving costs—in both time and money—make us evaluate what really matters.

What To Do If You've Kept Too Much

If you realize you've been holding onto more than you need, here's how to move forward:

Do some additional decluttering. And please—don't view this as a failure. This is learning. This is clarifying. This is you getting clearer about what you actually need versus what you thought you needed.

Take time to understand why items have lingered in your home. Did you not know how or where to donate them? Then spend 30-60 minutes doing some research online or asking people you know where they've successfully donated similar items. Sometimes the physical barrier of "I don't know what to do with this" is what keeps us stuck, not emotional attachment.

Remember those boxes in the basement or garage? If you've been living perfectly well without those items for months or years, you have your answer. You've already found your "just right" amount in your active living space. Now you can complete the process by letting those boxes go.

What To Do If You've Decluttered Too Much

If you've gotten rid of too much and now feel deprived, here's what I recommend:

• First, take a break from decluttering. Step back and pause.

• Focus on what you hoped to gain from decluttering in the first place. Was it more peace? More space? More time? And is the lifestyle you've created through aggressive decluttering actually realistic for you? Does it genuinely serve you, or were you trying to meet someone else's standard?

• Examine your motivations honestly. Were you decluttering to impress your kids or relatives with how much you could change? Were you trying to achieve some aesthetic you saw online that doesn't actually match how you want to live?

Understanding why you got rid of so much can help you make better decisions moving forward—both about what to bring back into your life and what to keep or let go of in the future.

And yes, you can gradually acquire some missed pieces. Thrift stores and secondhand shops can be wonderful resources. You don't need to rush out and replace everything immediately. Take your time and be thoughtful about what you truly want to bring back into your home.

Your Decluttering Journey Is About Learning

Whether you're realizing you've kept too much or let go of too much, please be gentle with yourself. Finding your "just right" is a process of discovery, not a test you pass or fail.

Your definition of "enough" might shift over time as your life changes. What felt right in your 50s might feel different in your 60s or 70s. What worked when you were hosting big family gatherings might change when you're entertaining smaller groups or living in a different space.

The goal isn't perfection. It's not about achieving some Instagram-worthy aesthetic or meeting anyone else's standards.

The goal is creating a home that supports the life you're actually living—right now, today. A home where you can find what you need, do what you want to do, and feel at peace in your space.

Just like Baby Bear's porridge and chair and bed, you're looking for what feels "just right" for you.

And that, more than any organizing system or decluttering method, is what will finally give you the clarity and peace you're seeking.